Have you ever had a verse constantly on your heart and in your mind? Has the same verse made frequent occurrences into your conversations, sermons you've listened to, or in your own Bible reading times? I've had many verses do that, and it happens usually when God is trying to teach me something in the middle of a transition or big change in my life. One verse that has been showing up frequently in the last two years is Ephesians 3:20-21, which says,
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."
This verse stuck out to me because it tells me that God IS ABLE. He is Yahweh, All Mighty, All Powerful, Holy, Righteous, Just, Alpha and Omega, King of Kings and Lord of Lords. In civilian terms, God is THE BOSS; the CEO of the world. Except unlike CEO's on earth, nothing can stop God from accomplishing His plans with His company (the world) and workers (those who believe in Jesus Christ is Lord). God is INFINITE. If you are a follower of Christ then I'm sure you know and believe this. If not, let's talk. :)
This verse has been constant in my life because I have been in a season of change and transition. A year ago I changed my college major again, and I finally graduated with my Bachelor's Degree in May 2017. I moved home over the summer, I went to East Asia for a month, and now I am still living at home working two part-time jobs, and I can't help but relate with Disney's Tangled when she sings, "when will my life begin"? Which is dumb, I know. It's dumb because the day that I "saw the light" (Tangled reference for when I surrendered my life to Jesus and what He wanted to do with me) is when my life began. I know this. I know what Scripture says. I know God is in control. I know God has a plan for me. I know God is always with me. So why have I been feeling alone and confused lately? Why have I been struggling with convincing my heart to believe what my head knows?
The answer came to me when God spoke to me through Ephesians 3:20,
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us"
The reason that I've been struggling with doubt in faith and direction in life is because I've been relying on my own power. I've been afraid to admit defeat. I've been afraid to tell my community my struggles. And most importantly, I've been afraid to tell God, which is silly because He already knows! I've let my fear seem bigger than my faith in Jesus Christ and what He can do with my fear if I would simply lay it down at his feet.
God has taught me this lesson before. Four years ago when I was praying about spending 6 weeks in the Republic of Moldova. God had clearly given me that opportunity, but I almost backed out because I was afraid to go. I was afraid of the possibility of being alone, and I was afraid of missing out on the ministry opportunities I have been a part in with my home church. But God spoke to me so clearly, and what He said helped me to be confident in my decision to go to Moldova. He said that it is not my power to do either ministry. He does not need me to do either one, and just because I would not be doing one does not mean that He is not still at work where I am not. He wants to use me and He will use me because I am willing, but He does not need me in everything. That's why He has the church body. He knew that I would go to Moldova for 6 weeks and not be able to be a pre-teen camp leader. He was not surprised. In fact, He had other leaders in mind to step up for when I couldn't be there. God is ABLE.
This last year I struggled with letting go of a ministry again. I know that God has called me to work with children, and I thank Him for the opportunities I had to serve in the children's ministry throughout my college years. He had me in the ministry to prepare me, to change me, and to invest in the children in the ministry at that time. But when it came to a time of change so that He could continue His work in me, I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to let go of the children's ministry because I was afraid. I was afraid to let go of what's comfortable. I was afraid that I wouldn't have a place to serve. I was afraid of missing out on what God was doing there. But by refusing to let go I was missing out on what God had for me next; the new relationships He had for me, the new ministry that He wanted me to be part of. I was afraid because I wasn't trusting God. My actions was not matching my theology.
But the good news (or GREAT news) is that there is grace. There is grace for my weakest moments. When my faith is weak, Jesus is strong. Jesus is constant. Jesus is able. Jesus is able to take my fears. Jesus is able to take my doubt. Jesus is able to make my heart believe.
I am by no means perfect. I will never be perfect until my life on earth is over and I stand in the presence of my Father and His Son sitting at His right side who appeals for my sin. But every day of my life until that day comes, God is teaching me how to trust Him more. Learning to trust Him is hard, because it means I have to lay down my pride and my fears. But it's worth it. It's worth choosing to not live according to my fear and selfishness part of me so that I can be near to my Father.
While I was in East Asia I learned a phrase that is close to my heart. It's a phrase that is repeated several times throughout Scripture. The Chinese phrase is: Bùyào hàipà which means: Do not be afraid.
This phrase reminds me not to live in fear, and instead to live in the power that God gives us through believing in His Son Christ Jesus.
"for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." -2 Timothy 1:7
"...Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9
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