Seasons Change

The flowers bloom, the grass becomes a lovely green again, the birds are singing, butterflies are anew. Spring brings change, a beautiful change. Every living organism is bursting at the seams to the change of the season. No more wrapping up in layers of clothes before you leave the house. No more shedding layers again when you go inside a building, only to put it back on before you leave. 

But the first day we have to wear a light jacket outside excites us because we've grown tired of the summer heat. We enjoy the new season until it sticks around too long; mainly the long summer and winter months. We wish Fall and Spring would stay much longer than it does, at least in North Texas we do. 

Regardless of the season, we either do two things: grumble because our favorite time is leaving us, or rejoice because it's about time things have changed! 

I hate change. I get comfortable in my place and I don't want to say goodbye. But change is necessary and inevitable, so it's imperative to find the beauty in change. Change is how God works in our lives. He stays the same but He changes our hearts by changing our environment.

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with CONFIDENCE, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do o me?"... Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and IMITATE their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever!"
-Hebrews 13:5b-8

Embracing change is embracing Gods work in me; forming me into who he wants me to be. That alone is reason to rejoice!! 

This semester I took a break from serving as a leader in the children's and young adults. 

I joined a woman's small group on "A Modern Girls Guide To Bible Study" by Jen Hatmaker. It taught girls how to study the bible by ourselves with just our bibles and the Holy Spirit. Those first 5 weeks was just what I needed to quiet myself to hear God's voice. 

One week through my bible study I was learning how to study the bible in a new way by looking at the history of the bible. We studied Nehemiah and the timeline of Ezra. God showed me some incredible things through the timeline of Nehemiah and Ezra. I was even lead to look at Esther's timeline! It's SO COOL that God orchestrated Esther's time to be queen at the RIGHT TIME during Nehemiah's time in the palace and going to Jerusalem! God was making sure that the king was well pleased with them and the Jews!! God is always looking out for his children!!

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?" -Esther 4:14

Esther responded with faith IMMEDIATELY because she knew God was with her! (Esther 4:15). Esther's time of hardship brought the Jews together to pray to their God during a time of reconstruction, which Nehemiah and Ezra were planning and doing in Jerusalem. GOD HAD A PLAN! And His plan is ALWAYS BEST! :)

It's amazing how God worked just by studying those three books chronologically! :)

God is still looking out for me just as he did for Esther, Nehemiah and Ezra! I encourage you to read those books and look at the history for yourself. It's incredible!

 

I thank God for that bible study. God used that time to quite the world around me so I can hear his voice. I would like to share with you how God reminded me of my universal calling as His child and His unique calling to children's ministry.

I talked to the children's ministry team last night at church. I have decided that I want to go back to my calling to serve in the children's on Wednesdays. And I found out last night that it was the right time to talk to them because they recently lost a 1st grade leader, which is the grade I subbed for two weeks ago and realized my God-given purpose again! :) 

I needed rest and time to figure things out and heal last semester. 

I look back now and see that the summer was my rest. Rest from going on a mission trip to be at home with my family, where God wanted me.

But I had other issues with not wanting to take on a leadership role with the young adults in the summer and I didn't say no. Lack of communication is something I need to become better at with people. 

But God is still good. 

Last semester one of the biggest things God kept me from isolation and depression was working with kids at church, at the YMCA and my kids hope mentoree. It was my God given purpose that brought me joy when I felt helpless in my class I almost failed and at home with my parents divorce.  My world was shaking and I couldn't do it alone. I needed nothing but God to hold me together. 

I thank God that he's always had my heart though so I didn't ever give in to leaving the church!! Why is God so good to me to not let me go through that? I don't know, but I'm glad he did! He's always done that through my life and I am grateful. 

I felt overwhelmed with ministry because I felt like I had to be the spiritual leader for my mom and my family, which is a big weight. And with that much weight it's easy to lose focus and sight of Gods purpose and calling for me. 

But now that I've been out of the children's and young adult ministry as a leader and I've been seeking to grow in my faith from childish thinking into maturity, I realize that it was my ministry at church and outside of church with kids that reminds me to love my family and other people. 

The DNOW I lead at this weekend God showed me that I CAN do the big girl things in taking care of my self spiritually and physically and emotionally, and he has put people in my life to love and help me when I need help. 

I have people I can confess my struggles and sins to, share my heart and to encourage one another. 

I'm not alone. I'm not failing. I've just lost sight of my purpose. 

Which is to live right here and now. To be educated at my school (even though it's a struggle), to love my family even more, to give myself to the work of the gospel in my church and community. I want to be able to leave this city one day, if that's what God calls me to do, knowing that I gave my all to love people for Christ, and hopefully leaving behind people to do the same in their lives. 

But first, I must stick to Gods calling for me right now. I must seek all that God wants me to be as a single woman. 

To know God MORE and make God known NOW where I'm at. 

And God also orchestrated a discipleship for me with a older young adult I went to Moldova with in 2011 and 2012! I wanted to study a book of the bible with her but God has been putting David Platts' book "Life on Mission" on my heart recently. Doing missions here in my daily life has been on my heart after his work in me through my Moldova trips. I just keep not wanting to be content with it because I want to go far away when God has called me to stay right now. I still have a desire for overseas missions, but God wants me to stay for now so that I can put into practice what he's taught me in Moldova RIGHT HERE in my city, school, church and family! And that's what I'm going to walk life with Jen to do. Just like we did in Moldova. :) 

"Be still and know I Am God." -Psalm 46:10  

I believe it was God's timing that I went to that bible study in the beginning of the semester because it was something I needed to do for myself to grow spiritually. And because I cut out the loud noises around me I could hear God in my life edifying me and confirming my purpose in ministry. 

Jesus said, "whatever you do for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." -Matthew 25:40 

My "least of these" is children and youth; the younger generation. To share the love of Jesus with them through my speech, my time and my heart. To change the world one young person at a time.

There's no fear in failure because I have the confidence of Christ! Even when I mess up, don't read my bible for a day or week, fail to set priorities or stumble over my words, all I need is to ASK God to intervene and He will do it! I am NOT my sinful self, I am NEW IN CHRIST!

"I have been crucified in Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me! The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me!"
-Galatians 2:20

"Though we do not know what we ought to pray for the Holy Spirit intercedes with groans that words cannot express." -Romans 8:26 

God knows our hearts!! 

I want my testimony to give people hope of God's redeeming and restoration power in our lives! His voice is often small and silent, but his voice is POWERFUL AND LIFE CHANGING. We just need to learn how to quiet ourselves to seek and listen for him in our daily lives.   

"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
-Jeremiah 29:12-13

1Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace*  with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. 2Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

3We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.4And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

-Romans 5:1-5 

All the glory to God!